So about a week ago i had an epiphany. I realized that i don't fit into any that I have ever seen or been part of. I've always been an outsider even when I thought I was part of a group. This bothered me for a while. Because of human nature everyone wants to feel that they belong to some form of a group. Maslov's pyramid also proves that human beings need a sense of belonging to truly exist. And I had come to the realization that I never belonged.
One of the main reasons I never fit it any group that i was a part of is because I'm always hyper aware of in-group heterogeneity. I always noticed the small differences between me and the other people so I slowly separated myself mentally. I always see myself as much different then everyone else even if the differences are just subtle. Also i have a huge problem with group think. I am a hugely individualized person, especially when it comes to my thoughts. So it is near impossible for me to take on a "mob mentality" about anything. I actively try to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing regularly. Therefore, in any group it makes me an outsider if everyone is saying black and I say white.
So, I realized that I can't join an already formulated group of people because I could never "fit in". I would need to start my own group where I am the leader and I can determine its members, the in-groups, and out-groups. This way I can still have my individualized ideas and have people follow me. This way I also have my feeling of belonging because I have to lead the group to accomplish whatever our goals will be.
I think not fitting into a group can actually be a better off thing in life than actually fitting in with a group. Having your own ideas and your own opinions can make you a smarter, more independent, self reliant person and that is definitely an awesome quailty in any one. I feel that when someone stands out of the crowd and can be their own person they are more successful in anything they do. Having the ability to think on your own and create your own ideas is sometimes limited when someone is put into a group and being independent allows for futher knowledge to create individual ideas, opinions, values, and morals.
ReplyDeleteBeing your own individual is critical because we have our peers or a higher authority, such as parents and what not judging us or even asking us "why are you this way?" At the end, you choosing being an independent individual is something greater than being into a group or known as a FOLLOWER. As independent individuals we know what we want and know what's best for us. I highly like this blog entry Fayne, continue to express you're own ideas and some day YOU will be someone GREAT!
ReplyDeleteJoining and getting into a group and dealing with other may be difficult to others. So do I, I usually have hard time to get into the group of people. especially, when teacher make a group for discuss....I mean, at this time, I cannot say anything and even watch people. It could be nervous, but I can understand this article. The most important is, in my opinion, confidence.
ReplyDeleteNot always everyone fits in the world. its hard to make people not judge you. for me i find it difficult sometimes to fit in with a group of friends because i am very different from them. im a quiet person in the begginng but once someone get to know me i dont stop talking. The key in life is to be confident like kyung tae said and never give up on your dreams.
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