Gender Socialization

1.       Summarize Killing us Softly. 

Killing us softly was a documentary by Jean Kilbourne the creator of the “Killing Us Softly” series. She is a huge advocator for women to be treated fairly in this world. She displays many examples of how the media portrays women negatively. The examples that she shows are sometimes hard to accept. We look at them and cannot believe that these advertisements actually exist. That big name companies display such vile and degrading images of what a woman “is.”

2.       Summarize a Call to Men.

      Call to men was an informative speech by Tony parker about the socialization of men in this country. Being a man himself and raising a son Parker spoke from personal experience the expectations that boys have drilled into their head of what a man is supposed to be.  Parker speaks that there is a proverbial “Man box” that holds the expectations that a man is supposed to be and all men live inside of it. And there is a fear of leaving that box because then you are not a man. Being held to such strict expectations is very stressful for people. People should be able to live their life anyway they want to without the fear of being judged or stepping out of the “man box”. 5 year old boys should not be scolded if when they fall down they cry.

3.       Explain how both video relate to our chapter on Socialization.

      Killing us Softly talked about how the media creates this horrible image of what a woman is in this society. This relates to the chapter on socialization because there is a section on mass media and how it affects our socialization. Kilbourne states that the average person sees 3000+ advertisements a day. That alone plays a huge part in the socialization of people because these things are always in your face.  Especially in today’s society where children are more exposed to the media, such as watching more TV. They begin to believe they need to be the things they see in mass media. And for females most of these images are negative. It tells women to just be “sex objects” and “barely be there” among many other messages. This breeds generations of women who strive to be these things and creates a dormant generation of females.

A Call to Men relates to our chapter on socialization because Tony Parker was talking about how men are socialized in this country. The “Man box” he speaks of a perfect example of the roles, norms, and values surrounding being a male. Also because of this “Man box” little boys who look up to their father naturally see there father’s conforming to this box so they grow up thinking they must be that way. They cannot think outside the box at all or risk being called a “sissy” or worse. Usually a more broken man is created when he doesn’t have a father figure to look to which is a lot of boys in this country. Because then he pulls his role and values from a female and makes him a deviant in society.

4. Find one picture that represents the ways that boys and girls are socialized?  

The Outsider

So about a week ago i had an epiphany. I realized that i don't fit into any that I have ever seen or been part of. I've always been an outsider even when I thought I was part of a group. This bothered me for a while. Because of human nature everyone wants to feel that they belong to some form of a group. Maslov's pyramid also proves that human beings need a sense of belonging to truly exist. And I had come to the realization that I never belonged.

One of the main reasons I never fit it any group that i was a part of is because I'm always hyper aware of in-group heterogeneity. I always noticed the small differences between me and the other people so I slowly separated myself mentally. I always see myself as much different then everyone else even if the differences are just subtle. Also i have a huge problem with group think. I am a hugely individualized person, especially when it comes to my thoughts. So it is near impossible for me to take on a "mob mentality" about anything. I actively try to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing regularly. Therefore, in any group it makes me an outsider if everyone is saying black and I say white.

So, I realized that I can't join an already formulated group of people because I could never "fit in". I would need to start my own group where I am the leader and I can determine its members, the in-groups, and out-groups. This way I can still have my individualized ideas and have people follow me. This way I also have my feeling of belonging because I have to lead the group to accomplish whatever our goals will be.

"Different kid"

So I was told that this blog was to be on culture. Which is very convenient for me because attending the Borough of Manhattan Community College I suffer culture shock everyday. 

BMCC is a huge culture shock for me because I attended high school at The Frederick Douglass Academy in Harlem. Because of the neighborhood there wasn't much diversity at the school at all. 90% of the students was comprised of people from the Caribbean, and African-Americans. The other 10% was Hispanic people. So I was used to being around people who looked like me. It kept me in an invisible bubble and limited my knowledge of other races and cultures because everyone in school looked just like me.

Ironically, Even though most of the people in the school looked like me in the school I stood out like a sore thumb. Because I was a skater and am an "Alternative kid" I was an outsider among my own people. What being an "Alternative kid" entails is that i listen to rock, skate, do drugs, wear black and skulls, get crazy piercings, have dyed hair, tight pants. I'm sure you get the picture. Not all of this is true but enough to make me stand out among my peers who are all into rap and sagging their pants and such that is expected of blacks by stereotypes. I was seen as being weird or sometimes as "being white".

But coming to BMCC changed that for me dramatically. Now when I walk around BMCC i see that their is every kind of person possible. This college has an extremely rich culture because it is probably the most ethnically diverse place besides the U.N. I no longer feel like an outsider because being different is the culture of BMCC. I can finally just fade into the background. And also for once I can find and have found people just like me who had the same issues. It just shows how small the world is because both of these school were both in the borough of Manhattan and yet they are on two different ends of the spectrum.